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The times for women are always changing. In the old days, it wasn't even possible for a woman to get out of an unhappy marriage and buy her own car or condo. Then for a long time it was possible and women enjoyed the favor of the courts when it came to custody hearings. Children were almost always given to the mother. But today things are more balanced and courts will always try to arrange a shared custody agreement if possible. Here are some tips on making yours easier.
The best thing you can do to make your shared custody agreement work smoothly is to make sure that whoever moves out looks for a place that is close by. You may not want to live near your ex, but it will make things a lot easier on you if you don't have to drive two hours to drop your child off when it's his or her time with dad.
It's also important that you and your ex are able to have civil conversations with one another, even if it's just exchanging hellos as you drop your child off with your ex spouse. Any tension or conflict between you will ratchet up your child's stress levels and set a bad example for him or her. So as much as you may want to sling insults, take the high road and you'll end up being proud of yourself for it.
With your child constantly bouncing back and forth between two concerned parents, its important that you and your ex share information about the child's activities, progress, and appointments. Pass on the dates and results of parent teacher conferences and medical appointments, otherwise the burden of remembering these things will fall on the child, and some are too young for that kind of responsibility.
Don't Put the Child in the Middle
If you're arguing with your ex over who gets to use the house plans you drew up together or where the child will be on his or her summer vacation, keep these discussions between the two of you. As much as you may want to avoid speaking to your ex, don't use your child as a conversational conduit. Even for a benign conversation, it's stressful for the child as he or she may feel like you're both asking him or her to take sides.